A few very embarrassing poems I wrote when I was 18, after watching too much battle rap (Russian example; American example) and getting very inspired, trying to impress a couple girls I had crushes on (unsuccessfully)…

I will be an artist, true master of craft.
occupation by art–my whole-hearted part
in this morbid movie, with one sorry actor.
when water turned vapor, all choices dried up.

masturbation sublime, last exultation of mine.
maturation gone by: past taught but a dime.
but who’s in the limelight half kilo off time?
not I.

[context: the girl I was trying to impress liked the writing of Dostoyevsky, Salinger, Hesse, and Hewinway; and films of Bergstrom, Tarkovsky, and Fellini]

Which one do I pick? How can I decide?
‘stoevsky with psych or Salinger’s cries?
The first is too quaint; latter too trite.
Salinger’s trite? No way this is right!
Whatever, who’s next? The judgement is nigh.
Glassbead was nice, no questions on that.
Vocab though – nightmarish (to Hesse’s delight).
‘mingway’s hour of pride: What’s got he for us?
4 wives; 3 wars; shotgun; suicide.
Writing pithy and forceful. Not much can I cite.
The others? Be honest: Don’t know – cannot write.
Okay, writers done. Can filmmakers fight?
No need: Seventh’s Seal is too bright;
the rest are in fright and scrambling for light.
Rip Tarkovsky, Fellini, and also rip rhyme.
Regardless, don’t care, I’m running out of time.

читаю свой рэп быстро
будто это хладнокровное убийство
эминем, оксимирон мне нипочём;
их хип-хап кидаю через плечо
чёткие раймы, вам не ломаный речитатив
эмси молодой кинь мне качовый риф, йо
спасибо центру за это

иду по арбату в кафе на угле
скейт под ногами, попа в руке
кидаю строчки и взгляды
как стальные катаны и нагинаты
испаряют прохожих, как копов наряды
бит всё мощнее; три полоски на мне,
буду шагать, ведь олдскул жив на земле
спасибо центру за это

painter’s from pain, cause art is a torment.
you try; next you sweat; then start crying;
if lucky, then new, something great sees the light
if not, which is always, the next day it might.

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